Me, Myself, and I...And a 4 year old.

I never thought I would be a blogger. Like never. But my mind is always so busy. It wasn't until I took my first yoga class (yesterday) that I really tried to stop my mind from thinking. I am still not sure that it is completely possible. I am a wife, mother, baker, business owner, social media manager, server, nutrition enthusiast, and over thinker. I am mostly an over thinker. I overextend myself often and I stress out easily. Basically I am a mess. A big, over thinking, overextending, stressed out, hott mess. Now that we are all acquainted, I am sure you are just dying to know my story. To tell you the truth, I am still not sure what my story is. 

I have a 4 year old. (ahhh...it's all starting to make sense?) I always thought I wanted to be a mom. I did. I do. I love my son. 4 years old...not so much. The miracle of life was so amazing to me, until that miracle could talk. And the talking doesn't stop. Ever. I see the complete look of horror on most people's faces when I tell them that I really don't like children. Yes, I have one. But I am just not good with them. Or maybe they are not good with me. 4 years old seems to be the age of self discovery. My son wants to know everything. The questions never stop. Interrogation, it breaks a person. I always thought I would love to answer his questions. Helping him discover things is suppose to be one of the joys of parenthood. Turns out, it's not. It is exhausting. And telling them "I don't know" is not an acceptable answer. They expect you to find out. The problem with this discovery process is that with knowledge comes opinions. Exercising opinions has become a full time sport for this one. With all this knowledge my son is obtaining, he has become a master negotiator. The problem with this is that the united state of mommy does not negotiate with terrorists. It is almost unbelievable. These children, they interrogate you, break you, and then use your own intelligence against you. This parenthood thing is really quite the conspiracy if you ask me.

Despite the conspiracy of parenthood, I feel very blessed to have a son who obeys. He is respectful, does what he is told, and makes good choices. He is really an inspiration. In all honesty, I wouldn't have my life any other way. Parenthood should be work. I think that this is why we have a whole bunch of little shits (excuse my hash REALITY) running around out there. Too many parents don't put in work. If you aren't going insane, you probably aren't parenting. 

So next time you are in yoga class and the teacher tells you to empty your mind, give them a little grace. They probably don't have kids. Do the best you can, laugh and remember this this quote by J.D. Salinger:

“Mothers are all slightly insane.”